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BLOG ENTRY
Sex In California

If there is one thing that is universally good about humanity, it is certainly our capacity to love one another. I believe it is reasonable to say that every human being has been or will be in love. I also believe it is reasonable to say that the vast majority of these humans express their love for each other by having sex. These are certainly fundamental truths that should apply to everyone, regardless of age. Love is something that we can all agree is good, and yet the right to love is denied to a huge segment of the population known as “teenagers”. As one of these teenagers I find it very hard to stomach being told by, teachers, politicians, and “adults” in general that I am too “immature” to know what love is and that having sex with the person that I love is irresponsible, immoral, and criminal. Of course there are many reasons that the adult community gives for its restriction of teen sex. The arguments, however, revolve around three central themes: the fear of teen pregnancy, the risk of STD’s, and the belief that we are “to young” to be having sex. Although some restriction of teen’s sexual activity is inevitable, the current ideas and laws are over-restrictive and serve to demonize the authentic expression of love in the teenage community.

The idea that getting pregnant as a teenager is something that must be prevented at all costs is largely a belief that began in modern times. With the focus on careers and higher education, the teenage years are set aside for preparing for future success. This focus coupled with the necessity of supporting a child by having a well-paying job (college degree apparently required…) has shifted the normal child bearing age into the 30-35 year range. All of this contributes to the relatively accurate belief that teen pregnancy leads to a life of poverty, welfare, dependency, and misery. Although there are many studies that back this up, the actually in-depth research tells a different story. Helen Wilson (Doctoral Research Fellow, Centre for Public Health Research Massey University at Wellington) and Annette Huntington (Associate Professor, School of Health Sciences, Massey University at Wellington) demonstrate this point in their 2005 paper Deviant (M)others: The Construction of Teenage Motherhood in Contemporary Discourse:

“… according to participants [in qualitative  studies], having a baby provoked positive life changes such as getting off drugs and alcohol (Anderson, 1990; Arenson, 1994; Rains et al., 1998; Lesser et al., 1998), reconnecting with their families (Arenson, 1994; Goodwin, 1996), improved self-esteem (Arenson, 1994), and/or a sense of direction and purpose (Goodwin, 1996; Hanna, 2001; Schultz, 2001).”

This quote is radically different from the fear centered language surrounding teen pregnancy in sex education classes. The idea that the only thing that teens should care about is their successful future being ruined by a baby is ridiculous. We live in the present and can have a meaningful life in the present even if that life includes a child. Although raising a child at this time in life would be difficult, it is not impossible; we are not so “immature” that we cannot love and take care of a child. The birth of a baby should always be a joyous event and should definitely not be used to prevent us from sexually expressing our love for each other.

Not only is the fear of a baby not as horrifying as we are led to believe, but stigmatizing teen sex can only increase the risk of pregnancy and STD infection. Having sex with someone that you love is inevitable regardless of how many adults try to tell you that abstaining from sex is the only “sane” option. In fact, a 2010 study conducted by Zhou Yang (Ph.D., M.P.H) and Laura M. Gaydos (Ph.D.) found that “Abstinence-only education programs were found to cause an increase in teen birth rates”Zhou Yang, Ph.D., M.P.H., Department of Health Policy and Management, Rollins School of Public HealthZhou Yang, Ph.D., M.P.H., Department of Health Policy and Management, Rollins School of Public Health and recommended that “Future policy and behavioral interventions should focus on promoting and increasing access to contraceptive use.” Zhou Yang, Ph.D., M.P.H., Department of Health Policy and Management, Rollins School of Public HealthAlthough there are very good laws in California providing us access to birth control methods that prevent pregnancy and STDs, the embarrassment and guilt that surrounds sex at this age makes obtaining them difficult. Since we are constantly told that having sex is irresponsible and bad we cannot help but feel self-conscious about asking our parents for birth control, buying condoms in a public place, or going to a clinic. Of course this negative effect varies greatly with individual cases. However, it is safe to say that viewing teen sex as shameful makes it less likely that teens will admit to having sex and obtain the necessary birth control.

Perhaps the most offensive manifestation of the demonization of teen sex is with statutory rape laws, which are essentially prejudiced beliefs about teen irresponsibility made into Law. The California Penal Code Section 261.5 states that any minor who has sex with another minor that is less than three years younger is guilty of a misdemeanor, if they are more than three years younger it is a misdemeanor or a felony with a maximum sentence of 1 year. If the perpetrator is over 18 the penalty includes substantial fines. This law means that a senior who has sex with a freshman will go to prison and (if they are eighteen) be fined up to $10,000. Many relationships where there is a substantial age difference between those involved can be exploitative. However, this is certainly not true in every case and criminalizing these relationships can only result in actual abusive situations going unreported due to the fear and stigma that surround teen sexual activity. Although some form of restrictions on adult sex with minors is inevitable; there is no reason to criminalize consenting individuals, who happen to be under 18, that wish to express their love through sex. Even though California has one of the most lenient statutory rape laws in the country it is still based on a prejudiced restriction of our freedom to love. Not only does it view sex as a criminal act it goes so far as to call it “rape” with all the profoundly evil connotations that accompany the word. We are human beings, we experience love, and we should be able to have legal, loving, safe sex without fear and without being labeled as inherently irresponsible.

Comments
4
Toni Rakestraw said:
Posted July 18, 2011 - 12:24pm

Dylan... wonderful post. Things haven't changed from when I was a teenager and was facing these same issues. I met my husband when we were in high school... even though everyone said we were too young to understand love, we did. We eventually got married and today we have a wonderful family. I trust my own teens to make the decisions that are best for them. We've talked about love, sex, and responsibility... they understand that the choices they make may have consequences, but that nothing is insurmountable. We're a family; we help each other no matter what.

Samantha Orum said:
Posted July 18, 2011 - 12:27pm

Well said! Teenagers are old enough to consent to sex. And if they don't consent, it's rape. End of story. None of this wishy washy stuff about how teens can't really consent so all of it is rape. All through history, all over the world, boy and girls have gotten married, had sex and had babies after they went through puberty. Is this to say that we should be pushing 12 year olds to have sex? Absolutely not, but we need to understand that these things were commonplace for a reason. Sure, teenage years can be confusing and full of regrets, but that's no reason to say that a fifteen year old can't possibly be ready for sex. In high school, I was a seventeen year old senior, having sex with my sixteen year old boyfriend because... you said it, we were in love! And after four years of being together, and getting engaged, I can tell you that I wasn't a stupid teenager... it was real.
We need to stop assuming that all teenage relationships are silly, or that teens having sex can only lead to negative outcomes. It should be looked at on a case by case basis. If the relationship is abusive or exploitative, or if one of the parties involved doesn't WANT to have sex, then by all means, seek legal action. But most sexual encounters among teens are either just for fun, or may exist to display deeply affectionate feelings. And there shouldn't be anything wrong with that. I see no reason we can't lower the age of consent to at least fourteen or fifteen, because I remember being that age, and there were a whole lot of us that wanted to have sex, and very few who only caved because of pressure. Teens should be encouraged to wait until they're ready, and beyond that, their sex lives shouldn't be anyone else's business.
-Sam www.thecrazyleft.com

Christian 'Zhan... said:
Posted July 18, 2011 - 7:05pm

I live in Denmark where the age of consent is 15 and its not illegal for children under 15 to have sexual interactions. Rape is rape. There is no statuatory rape. If you didnt consent, it was illegal. End of story.

You cannot keep teens from having sex. You can trust them to be teenagers. Confused and pushing the limit and experiencing new territories. Inform them of possible consequences and let them run wild, let them experience life instead of locking them up.

RWsMom said:
Posted July 19, 2011 - 12:37pm

Dear Dylan:
Thank you so much for taking a stand against these laws. You are right, too many young men (mostly) and some young women are being locked up and looking at serving 10years, 15 years and even a lifetime on the sex offender registry.
I am a mother of a 17 year old son who is facing a lifetime on the registry after "allegedly" having a relationship with his 14 year old girlfriend. There was no evidence or witnesses to a "crime".
You are so correct when you say that young girls often pursue the older boy. Unfortunately, the law doesn't care. The law does not require any physical evidence. Just the "victims" testimony. As you and some of your readers may know, all it takes is someone getting mad at another and reporting a fraudulent crime. That person now becomes a "defendant" in a terrible situation with the court system and a victim of over zealous prosecutors.
I applaud your efforts and courage to speak out......I pray you will continue your endeavor to help as many teens as you can from being "victims" of the justice system!
Kudos to you!
RWsMom

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